Today is my final appointment with the dietitian who will go over how things have been food plan wise and weigh me again. I believe that they will be sending off my packet to UHC insurance this Friday and I am hoping for an approval by August 30th. If so, then I plan on scheduling the surgery for sometime mid September.
If you would have asked me that I would be doing this surgery, I would have told you no fucking way. I considered it cheating and the easy way out. Well, from what I am hearing, this is definitely not the easy way. It will be difficult but I will persevere.
They will put me on some form of a 2 week all liquid diet prior to the surgery. Apparently, the all liquid diet will shrink my live enough so that the surgery is successful. I have been following the dietitians advice and I have been not drinking 30/60 mins after I eat. At first that was extremely difficult but now it's getting easier and easier.
Something I am noticing more and more often, I am not the social butterfly I used to be when I was younger. I could blame my husband for that as he is an introvert and I have lived with him since 2001, but I cannot. I allowed myself to become this way. I developed this philosophy that if someone didn't talk to me it was because they weren't interested in what I had to say. I never ever realized that some people either didn't talk to me or look at me because of my weight. Now that I pay attention, it's true. Most people cannot even look me in the face, which I think is funny.
Because they're afraid of what could happen to them? They might have to talk to me about what it's like to eat a double whopper? I really have no clue. I guess I will just stare them down until they either ask me what my problem is or turn the other way.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Morbid Obesity
For any of you who do not know what this is:
According to Wikipedia "Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems.[1][2] People are considered obese when their body mass index(BMI), a measurement obtained by dividing a person's weight in kilograms by the square of the person's height in metres, exceeds 30 kg/m2."
My current BMI is 57.5, which is morbidly obese.
The first time I saw this word, it was on my physician's notepad. It was written down and it was referring to me. Yes...to me. Even though I saw this on her sheet, I never identified with that term, even though it really is true. I could not believe that that could ever describe anything about me. This was back around 2002 or so. Whenever I saw myself in a mirror, even though I inadvertently was dodging them, I was mostly disgusted and other times satisfied.
Over time, I allowed myself to be blind to the things I was doing to myself and I heard the people around me say that they were worried and I still did nothing most of the time. Yes, I tried various diets and most of them didn't work, other times they would work but only for a short time mostly because I believed that I physically could not do it. I'll repeat myself, I actually believed that no matter what I did, I could not be successful. Where did I pickup this philosophy? I couldn't tell you.
The past few years, my health has been declining rapidly. I experienced pain almost non-stop daily for quite a few months. I believe that more than anything is what caused my subsequent depression. I never thought I would ever have experienced depression. The best way I can describe this depression is: it was a deep dark hole with no doors, no light and no one could find me because I isolated myself from almost everyone.
I was literally eating myself to death. I would sit in front of the TV for hours, home from work I would immediately sit on the couch, eat crap and stay there till bedtime.
Then, my friend's sister, mentioned a 12-step program called Overeaters Anonymous. I still wasn't ready but I had started to talk to people about what I was experiencing and then another person mentioned OA. She was my husbands colleague, she had no clue what I had been going through but that felt like a sign to me. Something was nudging me toward healing, a new sense of self.
It was just before I started OA that I made the decision to pursue Weight Loss Surgery. Yes, i went through all the pros and cons and i saw that the list of pros far outweighed the cons. So, I started the process and now I am getting close to a surgery date and I am hoping to the beginning of a new and healthy life.
According to Wikipedia "Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems.[1][2] People are considered obese when their body mass index(BMI), a measurement obtained by dividing a person's weight in kilograms by the square of the person's height in metres, exceeds 30 kg/m2."
My current BMI is 57.5, which is morbidly obese.
The first time I saw this word, it was on my physician's notepad. It was written down and it was referring to me. Yes...to me. Even though I saw this on her sheet, I never identified with that term, even though it really is true. I could not believe that that could ever describe anything about me. This was back around 2002 or so. Whenever I saw myself in a mirror, even though I inadvertently was dodging them, I was mostly disgusted and other times satisfied.
Over time, I allowed myself to be blind to the things I was doing to myself and I heard the people around me say that they were worried and I still did nothing most of the time. Yes, I tried various diets and most of them didn't work, other times they would work but only for a short time mostly because I believed that I physically could not do it. I'll repeat myself, I actually believed that no matter what I did, I could not be successful. Where did I pickup this philosophy? I couldn't tell you.
The past few years, my health has been declining rapidly. I experienced pain almost non-stop daily for quite a few months. I believe that more than anything is what caused my subsequent depression. I never thought I would ever have experienced depression. The best way I can describe this depression is: it was a deep dark hole with no doors, no light and no one could find me because I isolated myself from almost everyone.
I was literally eating myself to death. I would sit in front of the TV for hours, home from work I would immediately sit on the couch, eat crap and stay there till bedtime.
Then, my friend's sister, mentioned a 12-step program called Overeaters Anonymous. I still wasn't ready but I had started to talk to people about what I was experiencing and then another person mentioned OA. She was my husbands colleague, she had no clue what I had been going through but that felt like a sign to me. Something was nudging me toward healing, a new sense of self.
It was just before I started OA that I made the decision to pursue Weight Loss Surgery. Yes, i went through all the pros and cons and i saw that the list of pros far outweighed the cons. So, I started the process and now I am getting close to a surgery date and I am hoping to the beginning of a new and healthy life.
Tuesday
I got the idea from Mr. Jonas to come back to blogging. Especially since I have started a new kind of experience. A long more detailed post to come with a description about how I got to this decision and where it has taken me so far. Stay tuned....
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